I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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