If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
