i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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