I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices