i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"