That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
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You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.