I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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