FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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