Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there's paper in my vomit.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We need to rekindle our bromance
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
