drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
