I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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