I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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