Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
