Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
