Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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