Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
