Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
