And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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