Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize