Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize