My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
