Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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