Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
