so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
