i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
