apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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