there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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