remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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