At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
