Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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