this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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