drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
