I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we're making bets on your personal life
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
