just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
