You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
