i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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