Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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