This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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