You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
