I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
