i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
