I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
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I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
is it fun? or sober?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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