I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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