i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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