brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just found puke in my bra..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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