Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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