Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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