Why are handjobs necessary in class?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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