the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
