i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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