He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
