I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
two words...techno handjob
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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