dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
