Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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