he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
