? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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