you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
