I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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