some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
